Anya: This is the man that I plan to entangle. Isn’t he fine? My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle Vengeance was mine
But I’m out of the biz The name I made I’ll trade for his The only trouble is… I’ll never tell
Xander: She is the one, She’s such wonderful fun Such passion and grace Warm in the night,
When I’m right In her tight- Embrace! Tight embrace! I’ll never let her go
The love we’ve known can only grow There’s just one thing that…no I’ll never tell
Together: Cause there’s nothing to tell
Anya: He snores Xander: She wheezes
Anya: Say "housework" and he freezes Xander: She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can’t describe
Anya: I talk, he breezes Xander: She doesn’t know what pleases Anya: His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe
Together: The vibe gets kind of scary Xander: Like she thinks I’m ordinary
Anya: Like it’s all just temporary Xander: Like her toes are kind of hairy Together: But it’s all very well
Cause God knows I’ll never tell
Anya: When things get rough he Just hides behind his Buffy
Now look, he’s gettin' huffy Cause he knows that I know
Xander: She clings, she’s needy She’s also really greedy She never…
Anya: His eyes are beady!
Xander: This is my verse! Hello? She…
Anya: Look at me! I’m dancing crazy!
Together: You know… Xander: You’re quite the charmer Anya: My knight in armor
Xander: You’re the cutest of the Scoobies With your lips as red as rubies And your firm yet supple- Tight embrace!
Anya: He’s swell Xander: She’s sweller Anya: He’ll always be my feller
Xander: That’s why I’ll never tell her That I’m petrified
Anya: I’ve read this tale There’s wedding then betrayal I know there’ll come the day I’ll Want to run and hide
Together: I lied, I said it’s easy I’ve tried, but there’s these fears I can’t quell
Xander: Is she looking for a pot of gold? Anya: Will I look good when I’ve gotten old? Xander: Will our life become too stressful, If I’m never that successful?
Anya: When I get so worn and wrinkly That I look like David Brinkley?
Xander: Am I crazy? Anya: Am I dreamin'? Xander: Am I marrying a demon?
Together: We could really raise the beam In making marriage a Hell! So thank God I’ll never tell. I swear that I’ll never tell
Xander: My lips are sealed Anya: I take the fifth Xander: Nothin' to see Move it along
Together: I’ll never… Tell
(laughter)